Last updated: February 10, 2026
Question: I’m dating again after a long time, and I keep hearing horror stories about romance scams. How can I tell the difference between someone who’s genuinely interested in me and someone who’s trying to take advantage of me?
Answer:
Unfortunately, business is booming for lying dirty cheats. According to data from Barclay’s, romance scams increased more than 20% in 2025, and AI is making it easier than ever for scammers to mimic a voice, or target prospects based on age, gender or location. And according to the most recent data from the FTC, Americans are losing $1.4 billion every year to these scammers, but the real numbers are likely much higher since many people are too embarrassed to report the crime to authorities. The Better Business Bureau estimates that as many as one million people in the United States have fallen victim to dating schemes.
But we get it — sometimes, loneliness coupled with a quest for love can cause people to lose sight of reality, and end with them draining their bank accounts to help someone they’ve never even met in person. Unfortunately, dating apps and social media sites have become hot spots for criminals posing as Mr. or Mrs. Right, masquerading as professionals who just happen to be working in far off places — but they’re really criminals in disguise, looking to separate unsuspecting victims from their money.
Of course, there are plenty of couples who meet online, fall in love and live happily ever after. The difference is, like Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks in “You’ve Got Mail,” those people did eventually meet for drinks and meals and movie nights.
When you first meet someone online, and things feel a bit off, look for these red flags before taking it to the next level:
They Profess Their Love Too Quickly
If you meet someone on a dating app or website, or through a social media platform such as Facebook or Instagram, and they tell you they are falling in love after just a few conversations, be suspicious. Yes, you’re amazing, so don’t doubt that. But if someone uses the “L” word ASAP, warning bells should be sounding. It’s important to take things slowly, especially if you’ve never laid eyes on the person in real life.
They Work Out of State or Overseas
Some of the most common occupations made up by scammers and reported to authorities include working on oil rigs, serving in the military in an undisclosed location, physicians working outside the United States, and people in construction jobs that keep them on the road for most of the year. There are also multiple reports of a successful businessman in Turkey — momentarily short on cash — who needs gift cards for his son’s birthday.
They Ask For Money Due To An Emergency
Con artists are big on talking about trust and use bogus stories of sad life circumstances, deaths in the family, injuries and other hardships to keep their new love interests concerned and involved in their schemes. Scammers often ask victims to send money to help them overcome a difficult financial situation. Be wary of these tall tales and never send cash, preloaded gift cards or money orders to someone you have never met in person or don’t know well.
Not all faux Romeos move fast. Some tricksters string their victims along for weeks or months before finally asking for money. Because they are typically scamming several victims at the same time, they can spread out their requests to be more convincing.
They Say They Want To Send You Money
Some criminals are looking for people to launder money for them that was gained unlawfully. If a romantic interest you have only known for a short while wants to send you a pile of money, do not accept it, and break off communications with the person. There are criminals using stolen funds who need trusting people to accept and move money through their bank accounts. The only thing worse than finding out your new boyfriend is a liar is finding out he’s a liar after you’re sitting in a jail cell for unknowingly helping him launder money.
Their Online Photos Seem A Little Too Perfect
Sometimes, people will photoshop their images to look a little too attractive— or their photos will display perfect vistas of them on a beach, atop the Eiffel Tower, or under a Tuscan sun. Other times, scammers just steal someone else’s photo and profile to create a fake one. Also, it’s time to be suspicious if your new online suitor has all of the same likes and interests as you, right down to your love of Hallmark Christmas movies and fresh boxes of Tagalongs. Those kinds of made-for-TV matches exist only in your Hollywood dreams.
They Ask For Personal Information
This kind of request can be even worse than straight up asking for money. If a new love interest wants to know your birthday (month and year), bank account info, social security number, home address and ZIP code, names of your pets and children, or even passwords to social media or email accounts, he or she is definitely, 100% up to no good. Some romance scammers will ask you to send photos or videos of yourself in a compromising position and then use those images to blackmail you.
If a scammer gets enough of your personal information, they can steal your identity, open up phony credit cards in your name and do all manner of harm to your credit.
They Want To Email And Text Or Send A Pre-Recorded Video, As Opposed To A Live Video Chat Or In-Person Meeting
This is almost always a sure sign of someone who doesn’t want you to know their true identity. There’s a reason people say your eyes are the windows to your soul… Someone who doesn’t want to show you their face can’t be trusted. Some sly scammers who do video chat with victims sit in low light rooms that make it nearly impossible to see their faces clearly. This is your sign that they are probably shady, both inside and out.
How To Avoid Romance Scams
The FBI has a long list of tips and resources that can help you spot a scammer well before you ever exchange numbers (or worse, an “I love you.”) Here’s a look at the most important ones:
- Don’t accept friend or follow requests on social media from people you don’t know.
- Never send money, gift cards, or wire transfers to someone you haven’t met in person.
- Use dating websites with national reputations, but still assume criminals are trolling even the most reputable online spots for new victims.
- Use online search tools such as a reverse image search in Google to make sure no one else shares the same profile photo that your new love interest is using. Also look to see if the same story line you may have heard from them is being used on others.
- If you plan to meet someone in person that you have met online, the FBI recommends using caution. Do not travel alone, and check the State Department’s travel advisories before arranging any travel.
- Trust your gut. If something feels off, it very well could be. Talk about the new relationship with a trusted friend or family member to get their take on the situation.
It’s important to report romance scams and financial abuse to your state’s attorney general. Visit the National Association of Attorneys General website for the contact information of your state AG. You can also report suspected online dating and romance scams to the Federal Trade Commission at ftc.gov/complaint.